Closed heart; Open mind

I kissed someone new last night, much like the song-and it doesn’t feel wrong.

It just seems unfamiliar; which could be both good and bad. I just know when I’m in compassionate company I definitely am not feeling sad..

Other hands on me and the taste of his tongue seem unfamiliar.. I’ll have a couple more drinks and let your image start to blur.

Sweet texts this morning, asking about the kids and how I slept.. make me feel warm inside while also wanting to cut this off and not let any emotions start to manifest.

Is this what my life is gonna be like now? So emotionally cut off and wondering how…

How I could ever let anyone else in? How I could ever again feel anything within? Not trusting their words and the things that they say.. Not wanting to ever wait around again for someone else all day?

I don’t want the commitment, don’t care for the intros. Don’t wanna meet the family or be introduced to your bros.. I don’t want your expectations or care for your feelings.. genuinely I don’t give a fuck about you-I’m in this state of just healing.

The attention is nice, guess it’s a little distraction… when my kids are not here and I need satisfaction. But even still, you’re the last on my list. And immediately I start to regret that we even just kissed..

You think I’m an angel, which is ironic cause I am. But when it comes to you I just don’t give a damn..

You want to take me to dinner.. wanna stare at the stars. But maybe right now I just belong in the bars..

But I don’t.. I’ve never been that kind of girl. And trying to figure out who I am now sends my mind in a whirl.

I think men are disgusting; they’re all just the same. And I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to be tamed..

Sorry to the next, and the one after him. And after him and then him, and maybe just never again.

My heart is closed up-it’s so wounded from battle. And my brain will never again let my soul become rattled…

There’s no trust-I’m done with the circus, you’re all in my mind just clowns. I’m forever just done with a man bringing me down.

And how unfortunate and unfair, to stereotype you together. Never wanna see myself again in someone else’s forever..

I need to learn me all over and be by myself.. don’t put your hopes and dreams onto me-my heart is boxed up on a shelf.

Maybe for later, or never again. It got pretty shattered and broken after giving it to him..

Closed heart; open mind, no room for another. Focusing on myself now and being a mother.

Fuck .